So I saw this headline today in Canada’s allegedly National Post and as someone who believes no topics are off-limits for comedy came up with five truly incorrect uses of satire.

1. Cleaning the oven.

Satire will not get your oven clean and is an ineffective cleaning product, especially if the jokes are dirty.

2. Babysitter.

Satire should not be left alone with your children. It’ll likely lead to them saying something that will get them expelled from school. On the bright side, whatever they say could be pretty funny.

3. As a meal substitute.

See Antoinette. Marie. “Cake.”

4. As a prosthetic device.

There’s a reason “funny as a crutch” is an admittedly able-ist synonym for “not funny.”

5. Changing a tire.

Studies have shown that no matter how clever the satire, tires are almost impossible to change without the use of power tools. The same generally applies to the minds of climate change deniers, anti-vaxxers and Trump supporters.

If you can think of more incorrect uses for satire, please share…

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