Lyrics and Music: Mark Leiren-Young and Kevin Crofton
Sky diving is for wimps, hang gliding is a yawn
Mountain climbing’s just as dull as mowing my lawn
Bungee jumping is for sissies, unless you take a spill
If you’re askin me there’s one real thrill

I’m goin to the beach and I’m gonna get a tan, I ain’t using sunscreen ‘cause I’m a real man

I wanna bronze bod and bleach blonde hair
They say tanning’s unhealthy, but I really don’t care
Want California girls who are playing volleyball
Wearing teeny bikinis, not hangin at the mall
Cruise in my little deuce coupe with the top down low
Rhonda’s boppin to the music on my car radio
We’ll have safe sex, while the car’s in motion
But you ain’t catchin me — wearin suntan lotion

I’m goin to the beach and I’m gonna get a tan, I ain’t using sunscreen ‘cause I’m a real man

When the earthquake comes then we really roll and shake
Surfin on the tidal waves in the good ol USA
My doctor is a pain, he just likes to heckle
Checks the spots on my skin, but man they’re just freckles
Everyone is worried ’cause the ozone’s gone
But global warming’s cool — we can tan all year long

I’m goin to the beach, and I’m gonna get a tan, I ain’t using sunscreen ‘cause I’m a real man

I’m goin to the beach
Help me doctor
And I’m gonna get a tan
Help, help me doctor
I ain’t using sunscreen
Help me doctor, help
Cause I’m a real man

And we’ll have fun, fun, fun till Mother Nature takes the ozone away…