Words and Music by : Mark Leiren-Young and Kevin Crofton
When I was a kid I knew I was different

I never wanted to be a cowboy or a cop

I never dreamed of fighting fires or disasters

Or driving cars with loud sirens on top

I never liked sports or comics

And I knew that this wasn’t the norm

‘Cause while my friends were outside playing doctor

I was inside filling out forms

I wanna be a bureaucrat
I wanna work from nine to five
I want an office job with regular cheques
And a boss who doesn’t know I’m alive
I want to push paper all day long
Fill out forms in triplicate
I wanna make everybody stand in lines
I wanna treat you like…
a bureaucrat

I wanna work for a political boss who won’t know his butt from a hole in the ground
I wanna file all of his memos which is why he’ll always need me around

I wanna be a bureaucrat
The government life is for me
I’ll let my hair down though not very far
As a star of the bureaucracy

Some people dream of fame like Paul Newman’s

Some people want to fly to the moon

Some people want to be like Clint Eastwood

Or they pray they’ll win a million soon

My friends they think that I’m crazy

That I just don’t know it’s at  But they can’t understand the excitement

the thrill of a true bureaucrat

I wanna be a bureaucrat
I wanna work from nine to five
I want an office job with regular cheques
And a boss who doesn’t know I’m alive
I wanna be a bureaucrat
I wanna live the adventure
I wanna file forms in quintuplicet
And leave you on hold
and forget you